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What do you really need?

Thursday, October 12, 2017

In today’s Gospel, (Luke 11: 9-10) Jesus commands us to

1.       ASK

2.       SEEK

3.       KNOCK

and along with each command comes a promise: if we ask, we’ll receive; if we seek, we’ll find; if we knock, it will be opened for us.

Inspired by Jesus’ words, I’m knocking on the gates of heaven because, after all, that is the single most important goal for my entire life; in its light, nothing else matters---certainly not the daily petty concerns of day-to-day life.

What am I seeking? What do I really seek? Is it accomplishment, recognition, affirmation, fame, fortune or something important to do? Well of course, there was a time in my life when I was actively seeking all of those things, but as life has gone on, they’ve become less and less important. So what am I seeking?

To be honest, I think what I’m seeking is to become more and more in touch with my true self; with that part which lies deep within me where I’m in union with the Trinity and abiding in perfect love, a love so powerfully manifest that it will affect my relationships with others, more and more, despite the periodic lapses in charity which make up part of an imperfect human existence.

And with all of that, what shall I ask for? In light of the above, I want to ask for God’s help in removing anything in my life that gets in the way of the goals I’ve identified by seeking and knocking. And so, as I come before God, confessing my ignorance, my lassitude and also my own wounded resistance, like a little child with a hurting boo-boo I want to ask God to take those things out of my life, admitting full well that I am powerless to do anything about them myself. Yes. That is what I ask for. I have specific things in mind, but that’s all a private matter between me and God.

And as for you, I encourage you to consider the commands, to consider where you are in your own life and spiritual development at the moment, and after spending some time in silence and in restful prayer, consider your own answer to these three must basic suggestions made to us by our Savior.

God bless you!

Beneath Frustration

It takes a period of silence and solitude for you to uncover a wonderful reality. All you need to do is pay close attention to the moment, moment by moment, and to allow the Spirit within you to reveal itself, coming from deep down inside, beneath all the stories you continually tell yourself, beneath all the issues and your thoughts about those issues. Dive down through these things and don’t let them trap you and keep you from the inner journey.

Go beneath all the criticisms you have of others and also of yourself, beneath all your worries and fears, all your emotions, beneath all your awareness of your imperfection, all your sins, all your guilt, all that wicked voice that tells you that you are not worthy. Here’s a hint: You.Are.Worthy simply because God has allowed you to exist.

Focus on this God, hidden deep within yourself. Focus on He unlimited mercy, His unfathomable love, on His ardent desire that you will one day live in the heaven He has prepared for you.

Find yourself---your real, true and eternal self, that place where you are hidden with Christ in God. Breathe deeply. You don’t have to think about it. Simply become aware, simply let it bubble up from inside of your even for a brief instant. Focus, but don’t think. Simply rest. Stay as long as you’d like if you can.

Read these words of Richard Rohr (“Immortal Diamond”):

Any ideological, angry, or fear-based process will only reinforce the False Self. The ego always has an opportunistic agenda. The soul has no agenda whatsoever except to see what is—as it is—and let it teach you.

And so when you are caught in one of those opportunistic agendas, angry, frustrated, annoyed, fearful and preoccupied, remember that those thoughts and feelings belong to your false self. Quiet yourself down and dive beneath it all, just as you would dive beneath strong waves that threatened to engulf you. Dive deep beneath where the calm can be found, and taste your inner reality.

It takes practice. See the next bout of aggravation as an opportunity to practice. You will naturally get better and better at it, so be patient with yourself. You can do it. It will enfold within you.

God bless you.

Dissolving Discord

I’m going to finish out the week with another quote from St. Jerome (in a homily on Psalm 76). It might sound stern for a bit, but there is great hope at the end. Read on:

“. . . there is no tent of the Lord except where there is peace. Where there is strife and discord, God is not there as Protector. . . . The abode of God is only in a peaceful soul; therefore, let the soul that is without peace know that it is not the dwelling place of God. ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.’ (John 14:27) Peace is our legacy from the Savior.”

So what do we do when we are not at peace, but rather are being torn apart by strife and discord, worries and anxieties, or when we are in the grip of resentments, bitterness, jealousy or envy? Is God not with us at those times?

Or perhaps is God speaking to us the same words He spoke to the disciples at the Last Supper—and remember that he was speaking to men who were overcome by fear and anxiety at the moment:

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.”

I suggest that when we find ourselves far from peace, we need to remember a couple of things:

First of all, in the very deepest part of our being, in that part which we are barely conscious of because it defies rational thought, the Holy Spirit of God rests with us and continually cries out in prayer for us when we cannot pray ourselves. This deepest part of ourselves is sometimes called the “True Self” (See Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamond).

Secondly, God rests more deeply in our souls and spirits than those less deep parts ourselves that may be suffering discord, anger and even a certain violence.

Thirdly, once we recognize our wretched condition, then we can cry out to God and invite Him to dwell with us and to dissolve the pain and contradiction we find within ourselves, hanging all of that on the Cross, where Jesus suffered from the effects of all the sin and pain and discord—where He was literally torn apart in the agony of His crucifixion.

Finally, lest we doubt that God will again reside with us, we need remember His promise, a promise that Jerome quotes at the end of his homily:

‘Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man listens to my voice and opens the door to me, I will come in to him and will sup with him. (Rev 3:20)

St. Jerome concludes him homily with these words of encouragement:

“Every day Christ stands at the door of our hearts; He longs to enter. Let us open our hearts wide to Him; then He will come in and be our host and guest. He will dwell in us and sup with us.”

God bless you! Have a nice weekend.

Moral outrage

Hardly a week goes by these days before we hear of yet another senseless act of violence claiming innocent victims with their spilled blood crying out to heaven, “Why? Why are you allowing this outrage? When will you deliver us from this evil? Why do you continue to permit this evil to ravage our cities and our countries?”

It is not surprising that in the face of so much tragedy, some people are giving up, some are losing their faith in a God who were permit this to go on, some want to wave their fists and cry out in rage to God or to the universe.

And of course, any statement about the goodness and love and mercy of God is invariably met with charges against Him, one of which I read in a paper the other day: “Good and loving God? So what’s all this about starving children, or cancer, or ALS, huh? Is that part of being good and loving?!”

We need pray that our faith may remain firm in the face of such challenges and such dire realities, faith that someday, somehow, God is going to make it right. But when? How long?

I found great consolation today in reading the words of St. Jerome. In a homily on Psalm 75, Jerome quotes the verse

                ”At the set time which I appoint I will judge with equity.” (verse3; RSV translation)

This is what the great translator and scholar of the Scriptures had to say:

“The Lord is not judge now, but will be later. If He were judge now, sinners would not be arrogant and gain the wealth of the world. Is it a scandal to you that the just are in exile and sinners persecute them? Does it scandalize you that wickedness reins in the world? Hear the Lord saying: ‘When I seize the appointed time, I will judge with equity.’ The time for judgment has been set aside. The present world is not the time of judgment, but of contest.”

I hope this helps you to some extent, as it does me, as difficult as it is.

God bless you!

Nothing!

So there I was, writing in my journal when my pen ran out of ink. I took off the tip to change the cartridge and the tip of the pen fell on the floor. Actually, I think it fell into a black hole because I searched and I searched, and even used a flashlight, and I simply could not find it. And it happens to be my favorite pen. Then I noticed that I was really upset about losing the use of that pen.

Once I realized how upset I was, I made a resolution to let go, reminding myself that my happiness and well-being does not depend on the possession of a particular fountain pen.

Then I opened my book of Steven Taylor’s meditations (“The Calm Center”) and read the following title for the next page in the book:

Can you be happy with nothing? (!!!!!)

And I chuckled. And a moment of frustration quickly turned into a moment of mirth. And gratitude.

Part of the meditation says

                “. . . you can be happy with nothing.

                There’s a happiness that has no cause

                that doesn’t come from consuming or collecting.”

And after all of this, it wasn’t difficult for me to access my happiness that depended on nothing.

I looked in the drawer of my desk for a replacement pen, and discovered that I have so many pens collected in that drawer that I never have to go and buy another pen for the rest of my life!

God bless you!

The Rosebush

The Rosebush (a reflection on a writing of Hildegard of Bingen)

Hildegard: “I’ll accept the thorns that give off the delicate fragrance of roses. They grew to honor the One who was faithful, and by controlling myself, I’ll give honor to my Lord.”

What are these thorns

that give off a delicate fragrance?

Might they be

the thorns that formed the crown

that Our Savior wore

on the day of His passion?

We know what sweetness came

                from the agony He endured that day.

Might they be

the thorns of our own pain

and agony, or even our mere discomfort

when things don’t go our way?

For when those thorns

are united to His Passion,

all the ill we bear

will in its time become

sweetness and delight,

such as we might already have

tasted during

seasons of grace?

Might they be

the sins that overcome us and baffle us?

We’ve been told that

our sinfulness draws Christ

to us, He Who died for us

“while we were yet sinners.”

He comes to us

and the sweet fragrance of His grace,

delicate as it is,

overwhelms our shame

our discouragement

our frustration

our unworthiness,

and give us the encouragement we need

to set out sights

on the way that leads to His honor.

And you?

What might your thorns be?

And how does your Lord

                turn them into roses?

God bless you! Have a nice weekend.