Freedom from judging

 We have almost completed making our way through the list of 12 signs of a spiritual awakening (which are listed at the end of this reflection). Today, we will consider two of them:

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

When we begin to awaken spiritually, we become more aware—not at the faults of others but rather aware of those “hidden faults” of our own referred to in Psalm 19, in which the psalmist admits to a certain blindness about his own situation: But who can detect all his errors? –and then he prays, from hidden faults acquit me.

Herein lies the type of work we need to be doing in order to lay aside any tendency whatsoever to shine the spotlight on the supposed faults of others. It is important to remember that just as “spiritual awakening” is a process, so too is the increase of personal awareness which leads to an inevitable openness, patience and compassion towards others as judgment ceases. We develop a profound respect for the mystery of another person. We become more aware that we are hardly ever aware of the burdens another person may be carrying or the struggles they are enduring.

It would also be helpful for us to realize once again that, just because we think something is true does not automatically mean that it is true. Our thoughts about others need to be surrendered (and even confessed) to God’s greater wisdom while we humbly hold in prayer those whom we may be prone to judge.

Be aware. Catch yourself judging or interpreting. Cultivate your personal relationship with God, and in His light let your (usually) false judgments be dissolved. Leave the judging up to God along with his mercy.

You will find yourself enjoying greater peace of mind. Inevitably, our own judging and interpreting does nothing other than trouble our own spirits. It has no effect in reality unless we choose to act on our judgments and usually false accusations.

Seek the peace which God offers to you at all times. A peace that is found in a charitable forgetfulness of things which used to preoccupy us before our spirits began to awaken.

God bless you.

12 Signs that you are undergoing a spiritual awakening

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than to make things happen.

2. Frequent attacks of smiling.

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

11. A loss of interest in judging self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

Recognizing and avoiding conflict

Once again, the list of results of a spiritual awakening are referenced at the end of this reflection. As you look over the list, you may find yourself reflecting on any item on the list that seems timely and appropriate for you. Today I take up # 8: A loss of interest in conflict.

We can look at this in three ways: (1) Creating conflict; (2) Getting involved in the conflicts of others; (3) Enjoying conflict for its own sake.

This is a category unlike the other ones in the list because it is something that most often occurs in people who have some sort of personality disorder. You may know people like that: people whose lives are generally centered on one conflict or another, people who try to draw us into their own conflicts, and people who actually derive pleasure from the conflicts they produce or get involved in. Sometimes you may unwittingly find yourself affected by such people, and the best course of action it to pray for the individual and also to withdraw yourself from the situation as best you can, even if it means withdrawing from the relationships that have conflict as a basic trait.

I’ll give you one example. I know a couple of fellows who do delight in generating conflict and who are often engaged in what Saint Benedict calls “murmuring” (which he says is the worst evil in a community). One day I noticed that whenever I got engaged with these two, I would get drawn into whatever it was that they were complaining about, and that after I left their company, my spirit would be disturbed and I would find myself agitated about the complaint of the day.

                 At one graced moment in my life I realized what was happening and I resolved not to stop by and join in any of their conversations any more. God gave me the grace to follow through on my good intention, and I can’t tell you just how much peace of mind and spirit I gained as a result. Peace that remains up to this very day.

We probably also need to admit that most of us have a very slight tendency towards conflict in one form or another, albeit subtle and hidden.  In our spiritual programs, if we pray for God’s light to shine in this area, we will eventually become aware of said tendency and then pray for the grace to do something about it—to make the change(s) that the graced insight indicates we need to change.

One of my favorite psalm verses for things like this is a simple one: “from hidden faults acquit me.” (Psalm 19:12)  I also add to it the wish that in his time God will make the hidden fault obvious to me. But be careful about what you pray for!!!

12 Signs that you are undergoing a spiritual awakening

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than to make things happen.

2. Frequent attacks of smiling.

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

11. A loss of interest in judging self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

I am who I am and not what I do.

During my years in the monastery I have known several monks who had held important jobs, and once their terms of office were completed, quietly took their place once again in the ranks of ordinary monks. That must be a very difficult thing for a person to do: to let go of a position of responsibility and power and certain honor and then go back and lose himself in the ordinary -- or was it find himself in the ordinary?

And yet, that is a moment which most of us must face, each in own given professions and vocations. The time when our prowess has run its course, a time when our strength is on the wane, strength that was never really ours but only lent to us for a moment for the good of others. The time when we can feel the pain of not being able to do what once came to us so easily. The sages tell us that what we need to learn to do to prepare for such times is to place much more emphasis on being than on doing. One’s sense of self cannot become overidentified with one’s job or rank or prestige.

We are also warned by the sages that if we fail to learn this lesson, we risk becoming bitter old people, cursing life, cursing faith, because we placed all our self-worth in our own abilities rather than in who we are. I have also noticed in my time as a monk that the monks who live to be the oldest and the most at peace are the monks who have learned these spiritual truths long before the day of their waning.