Hope in God alone

Advice from the Russian Orthodox mystics is probably something you heard or read before, but if you are like me, you need constant reminders and encouragement. So I offer you little summary of the writings of Theophan the Recluse (1815-1894).*

What is essential is that you lay all your hope in God. When it comes to the spiritual life, you cannot obtain anything on your own, and all your efforts and good works will not help you reach your goal of union with God unless and until He grants it to you. This takes so much pressure off of us. All we need do is pray from the heart, ask for what we seek, and continue praying until God grants it to us. The Orthodox Fathers particularly recommend the Jesus Prayer as a constant mantra; Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me.

It is possible to say the prayer so often that eventually it arises in your heart almost automatically, but it is important that we not say it mechanically and without meaning. Theophan quotes the wonderful lines from Psalm 37:3-4, If you trust in the Lord and do good, then you will live in the land and be secure. If you find your delight in the Lord, he will grand your heart’s desire.

He speaks of the acquisition of virtue in the same way. A man who suffers from the vice of anger, he says, may by his own efforts acquire some control over it. “. . . how far will he get by his own efforts? No farther than outward silence during bouts of anger, with only such quelling of the rage itself as self-control can afford him. He can never himself attain the complete extinction of his anger and the establishment of meekness in his heart. This only happens when grace invades the heart and itself places meekness there. **

The same is true of every virtue and spiritual quality. We must seek earnestly, but realize that our own efforts to bear fruit will come to nothing. We must put all our trust in the Lord who will give us what we desire so earnestly.

I don’t know about you but I find this very encouraging and consoling at the same time. There is no reason to get impatient or even hate myself because of a particular weakness I may be trying to avoid. I can’t get it by my own efforts only. Now that doesn’t mean that I should not bother to try. I must keep trying, knowing that the ultimate victory will come when the Lord grants it to me.

In a way, the pressure is off about this and about so many other things.

Undoubtedly you will hear more from Theophan in the days to come as I continue to may my way through his writings.

May the blessings of the risen Lord descend upon you and keep you in all your ways.

*I discovered his writings in a book named The Art of Prayer: an orthodox anthology compiled by Igumen Chariton of Valamo.

** p. 112

The wisdom of Bishop Desmond Tutu

I decided to read a bit of Desmond Tutu’s writings and found several websites that offer quotes from his work. You can do the same by searching for him on the Internet.

Today I offer you excerpts from his works that deal with the mystery of human weakness and failure, both subject that we have spoken about in earlier posts. Ponder these things, particularly in light of the fact that Jesus is risen and is with us to give new life to our souls, spirits and bodies.

“We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low.” 

“In the end what matters is not how good we are but how good God is. Not how much we love Him but how much He loves us. And God loves us whoever we are, whatever we’ve done or failed to do, whatever we believe or can’t.” 

“Dear Child of God, I write these words because we all experience sadness, we all come at times to despair, and we all lose hope that the suffering in our lives and in the world will ever end. I want to share with you my faith and my understanding that this suffering can be transformed and redeemed. There is no such thing as a totally hopeless case. Our God is an expert at dealing with chaos, with brokenness, with all the worst that we can imagine. God created order out of disorder, cosmos out of chaos, and God can do so always, can do so now--in our personal lives and in our lives as nations, globally. ... Indeed, God is transforming the world now--through us--because God loves us.” 

“It is through weakness and vulnerability that most of us learn empathy and compassion and discover our soul.” 

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

If you would like to explore more on your own, go to http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/5943.Desmond_Tutu

God bless you.

Resurrection trumps evil.

Nobel Peace Prize recipient Bishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa wrote an Easter text which provides us with fruit for reflection. As you read the text, consider how it might come to life in your life by the way you think about things, especially during times of conflict and difficulty. See if your heart can open to the hope which the text offers. Here it is:

Goodness is stronger than evil;

Love is stronger than hate;

Light is stronger than darkness;

Life is stronger than death.

Victory is ours, through him who loved us.

Sometimes it seems like evil, hatred, darkness and death are getting the upper hand in our world and in our lives. But they are mere shadows when seen from the perspective offered by the Resurrection of our Lord. Shadows have no real substance; shadows are temporary; they are illusory like wisps and ghosts in the face of true life. Just consider the Crucifixion and death of Jesus: at the time He was hanging on the cross, it looked like evil had won the battle over goodness and life.

But those victories were illusions. Even during this time when there is much hatred and violence and turmoil in our world, what we witness in horror is not the final word in the evolution of the world. In the face of all that is happening, our task is to continue to life a Resurrection life:

Live and practice goodness.

Live and practice love.

Choose to live in light and to spread that light where you can.

Choose life in all of its aspects.

Consider, if you will, how it may be possible, in God’s grace, for you and me to apply and give witness to goodness, love, light and life. For each of us, the answer will be different. It might be helpful if you can think of people in your life who demonstrate each of these qualities. That would be a good start. From there, go on to claim the victory!

God bless you with goodness, love, light and life.

Three words for Easter

Easter Sunday and Monday 2016

Three words for Easter:

They’re in Latin. Latin often uses an economy of words where we need to use several more in English. One of my favorite Easter phrases comes from the Marian antiphon we sing after Compline during the Easter Season. “Queen of Heaven, rejoice, alleluia!.” There is a beautiful 3-word phrase in the antiphon that I offer for your meditation today and tomorrow. Here it is:

Resurrexit sicut dixit.

He rose (was resurrected) just like he said he would!

If you want to learn how to pronounce it correctly, look it up in Google. It’s worth the effort.

Let that be your mantra throughout the Easter season. If you keep repeating it, it will yield layers of meaning to you throughout the season. Basically, among other things, the message is this:

It Really Happened.

If you want, you can use those three words instead. I tend to prefer the Latin—but that’s just me.

Blessed Easter and Easter season to you!

Morning Prayer in a monastery

Holy Saturday 2016

One of my favorite parts of the Triduum each year is the office of Vigils and Lauds (Morning Prayer) on Saturday morning. The Cross is displayed at the altar, the tabernacle is empty, and we enter the quiet time of Holy Saturday morning and pray psalms and canticles through a particular filter: Christ has died, and is in the process of passing from death to life. What I offer you today are selections from those prayers so that you can read them through the same lens.

“My body shall rest in hope”   antiphon for Psalm 16

For you will not leave my soul among the dead, nor let your beloved know decay.

You will show me the path of life,

the fullness of joy in your presence,

at your right hand happiness for ever. (Psalm 16)

O gates, lift high you heads;

grow higher, ancient doors.

Let him enter, the king of glory. (Psalm 24)

Descending to death’s dark abode

where dwelt just souls from ages past,

You let them forth, a victory march,

to glory in new life at last.  Hymn for Lauds: Christe caelorum domine, translated by Abbot Matthew

The just will rejoice in the Lord

and fly to him for refuge. (Psalm 64)

I shall praise you all my life,

freed from my anguish (Isaiah 38)

For you, Lord, my heart will live,

you gave me back my spirit;

you cured me, kept me alive,

changed my sickness into health. (Isaiah 38)

And finally, one of the petitions of the final prayer, which has particular meaning for us monks:

Good Shepherd, in death you lay hidden from the world;

keep us faithful to the prayer and work of a monastic life

hidden with you in the Father.

God bless you.

Someday your pain WILL make sense.

Good Friday 2016

Because of his affliction he shall see the light in fullness of days.  Isaiah 53:12 (Revised New American Bible translation)

(This new translation is quite different from what is in the older versions, such as the Revised Standard Bible: he shall see the fruit of the travail of his soul and be satisfied.  I decided to check another translation, so I went to the French version of the Jerusalem Bible. Here the translation is mine: After the ordeals of his soul, he will see the light and will be fulfilled. Reading that version, I could understand why the translators of the New American Bible had departed so much from the RSV.)

Why go to such trouble checking translations, especially since I can’t read Hebrew, the original language of the psalms? Because it was the first translation above that inspired me to write this reflection on this very Holy Day.

There aren’t too many hints on Good Friday of the continued life of the Lord. We are, as it were, encouraged to dwell on the Lord’s suffering and death more than on the Resurrection to come. And yet, unless we keep the Resurrection in mind as we ponder the Passion of the Lord, we are the most pitiable of people, because there is no hope of any of this making sense.

And that is where so many of have been, or are, especially throughout the world during these difficult days when Europe is filled to the brim with suicide bombers and Americans are being slaughtered every day recently by some deranged and damaged person yielding a shot-gun, and when hatred and violence is the platform of one of the major presidential candidates and there are many people who are feeding on that anger and voting for him. And we have to wonder, is there any hope of this making sense?

Meanwhile in households everywhere there are people who are going through a great trial of their own, who can look at the Crucifix and unite their pain to the pain of the Lord, who took it all upon himself. Perhaps you have had such a trial yourself, or are enduring one now.

And so, we get to hear in the first reading of today’s Commemoration of the Lord’s Passion about the sufferings of the Lord and how he has taken so much upon himself for our sake.( If you can’t make it to church today, see if you can find the time to  read Isaiah 52-13 up to 53:12.) And then at long last, we find the verse quoted above: Because of his affliction he shall see the light in fullness of days. 

Might I suggest that this verse may be applied to our own lives as well? That in the course of life we endure many trials and ordeals and afflictions, and it is because of them, eventually, that we begin to see what we couldn’t see before, and even in the midst of our darkness we do indeed see a hint of the light to come? And how many times have we passed through a difficult period in our lives only to discover that it has strengthened us and enabled us to look with new eyes upon the world around us.

And if that hasn’t happened yet, it will someday, I assure you. It will.

And so there, in the midst of Good Friday, there is a great hope of light and salvation and an end to suffering. Through the sacrifice of Our Lord Jesus Christ who loves us so much that he endured everything that evil had to throw at him. Thanks be to God!

May the Lord bless and keep you!

God touches the stinky parts.

Holy Thursday 2016

[Jesus,] . . . fully aware . . . that He had come from God and was returning to God . . .

And so, he took a towel and washed the feet of his disciples, giving them an example to follow: If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.

Take care of each other. Go to the weakest and dirtiest part of the human person and cleanse it. Do not shy away, and certainly do not think you are above such a task because your Lord and Master did it Himself to set an example.

Feet stink. And there are things about you and me that also stink, in a metaphorical way. God gets to that part of us and cleanses it and heals it and makes it beautiful and fragrant. It might seem that we cannot manage to do that for one another because we ourselves are not God, do not have that power, and are too weak and stinky ourselves. But we must always remember that God works through us. Sometimes, oftentimes perhaps, we are not doing the work but God is doing it in us and through us.

So what possible advice can I offer to you this day?

First of all, remember that, like Jesus, you have come from God and are returning to God. Keep that at the forefront of your prayer, and keep it in mind whenever you feel yourself weakening.

Secondly, be willing to endure or be patient with the stinky part of others. I remember the other day someone did something that really annoyed me. I was beginning to get angry but I said the Jesus Prayer, and all of a sudden I realized that the person did what she did out of her own need and out of her own brokenness. And so I was able to understand, and be patient rather than angry, compassionate rather than annoyed. And I know well that God was doing that work in me, and that in the process He was healing me as well.

Finally, remember that John tells the story of the washing of the feet in the place where Matthew, Mark and Luke talk about the institution of the Eucharist (Matthew 26:26-29; Mark 14:22-25; Luke 22:33-34). John’s Gospel is a lot later than the others, and he writes at a time when the Christians needed to be reminded of the connection between the Eucharist and their role as servants to one another. And that charge is given to us as well, weak and feeble and ambivalent though we may be. Just remember again, you have come from God and are returning to God. Stay open to the Lord’s grace at all times, and, when necessary, get out of His way so that he can use you to wash feet.

God bless you.

PS: Over the next three days, you would do well to re-read the Gospel of John, chapters 14 – 17. You will find in it things you have never seen before.

We need to go through the pain.

Wednesday of Holy Week

This morning I had a chance to meet with a group of people, not all of them Christian, who were living difficult and troubled lives, and who were struggling to keep their heads above water. My heart when out to them and I admired their courage and their willingness to speak from the heart directly and sincerely and without any need to put up a good front or to “look good.”

Several of them spoke about having the feeling from time to time that they welcomed death as a release from their pain and suffering, and how at some times they felt like they were at “the end of their ropes” and had little or no energy to keep going on. What could I possibly say to them?

I decided to take a plunge and talk about Holy Week despite the variety of religious traditions present in the room. I gave a brief description, trying to keep it as “secular” as possible because this was not a setting where I could preach or proselytize. They knew I was a priest, and so that fact spoke enough to them. So: what to say?

Finally, this is what I said, and I give thanks to the Holy Spirit for guiding my words because I wasn’t really sure what to say: “Basically, the observance of Holy Week and Easter is like going through a process. It’s meaning is that it is by pressing through pain that we end up on the other side and win the victory and the cessation of suffering.” And that is all I had to say. Several of the people in the room looked like I had just revealed a great secret to them that they had never discovered before. I didn’t need to say any more.

When I reviewed the Gospel for today’s Mass (Matthew 26:14-25) I recognized our Lord in already in pain. It was the Passover Supper—the final night He would be with His disciples. On some level he knew what was to come, but there He was in a room surrounded by friends, in a room where one might suppose there was a great deal of love and devotion, and despite all that he had to come face to face with his betrayer who would soon leave the room and go about his nasty business.

This Gospel passage sets before us one of the many “Stations of Pain” that the Lord has to experience on His own way to Calvary, through death, and then to glorified Resurrection and victory. This year, as I enter the Holy Week process, I will remember in a special way the precious men and women I had spoken with this morning, along with all the other suffering people in the world whose lives contain more pain than joy at this time in our troubled history.

May the Lord of life be with you.

Feeble promises

Tuesday of Holy Week

The Gospel of the Day: John 13:21-23,36-38.

I will lay down my life for you. ß Peter’s promise to the Lord.

We who know what will happen soon look with pity on Peter’s promise—a promise he will not be able to keep. His heart is in the right place, but his human weakness will not provide the courage he would need to be able to make good on his promise. The ironic point, however, is that eventually Peter will lay down his life for his Lord, but a lot will have to happen until that moment comes to pass. Right now, Peter isn’t capable, isn’t strong enough, and although he does have a good heart, he doesn’t have the Holy Spirit yet, and he also hasn’t yet undergone the experience of bitter failure and the forgiveness that will follow.

So right now, Peter makes a feeble promise, not knowing what the future will bring.

Have you ever made a promise that you weren’t able to keep?  Think about it. Don’t beat yourself up, but look at your failure compassionately. What was operating at the time, despite your wish to be able to fulfill the promise? Have you prayed for forgiveness---now would be a very good time if you haven’t.

What’s more, how did your experience of failure serve to purify you, to strengthen you, to make you more compassionate when faced with the weakness of others.

This might also be a time for you to look with compassion at anyone who may have broken a promise to you, and to forgive, even if you don’t fully understand what happened.

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Apply that to yourself and then to anyone who may have offended or hurt you. You will find peace if you can do this.

God bless you

Walking miracles all around us

Monday of Holy Week

Before I entered the monastery, and was working “in the world” in addition to being Organist and Choir Director at a local church, I used to take Holy Week off beginning on Wednesday. It was my favorite time of the year because I was able to devote myself completely to the music and to the liturgy without any other distractions or concerns. It is no wonder that the seeds of my vocation as a monk were being sown back then. Now I live a life that is completely devoted to the liturgy, 365 days a year, and as Abbey Choirmaster my main work for the community is to serve the Liturgy and in doing so, to serve the Lord and to relive the precious time in His earthly life as it moves toward its completion, and then to celebrate with joy His life beyond the grave.

While Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are not principal liturgical days during Holy Week, they do set the scene for what is to come. Every year on Monday we read of Jesus’ visit to Bethany to His friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus. Mary anoints His feet with costly aromatic oil, and Jesus Himself says that she is anointing him for the time of his burial.

I am particularly moved this year by the last sentence in the Gospel for the Day (John 12:1-11): “The chief priests plotted to kill Lazarus too, because many of the Jews were turning away and believing in Jesus because of him.”

There we have a man whom Jesus has raised from the dead. The hearts and minds of the chief priests were so hardened by their own lust for power and control that they couldn’t even realize that Lazarus was a walking miracle and one of the ultimate signs that Jesus was the Messiah. They should have been reverencing Lazarus, not plotting to kill him. It baffles the imagination to consider how locked up was their ability to see and experience reality.

Can that happen to us as well? Can we be so closed up and focused on only our own agendas that we fail to see that all around us are walking miracles? We have no knowledge of just how much Jesus Christ has done for those we rub shoulders with day after day—with how He has healed, with how many He has already rescued from lives that were already dead through sin, with those who were engulfed in darkness who now life in the light. Yes, we are surrounded with walking miracles and we cannot realize it. But what would happen, and how would our world change if we could learn to reverence each and every person we encounter, and to bow deeply before the mystery that is the life of every person we meet?

One more question to ponder: Might if be possible, with God’s grace, that we may lead the type of life that would cause another human being to turn away from the life they know, and to believe in Jesus because of us? Because of us!

God bless you.

Reaching out for Healing

Palm Sunday of the Passion 2016

At Mass today, we read the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ according to Luke. If you aren’t able to make it to Mass, may I suggest that you read the Passion yourself, Luke 22:14 – 23:56.

I have found that in every reading of the Passion there is one phrase, or statement, or detail that jumps out at me and becomes food for my meditation during the day. I look for it, and ask the Lord to open the ears of my heart so that I may be able to receive what is given and let it do its work on me as I go about the usually busy days of Holy Week and Easter Sunday. It rarely fails me.

Another thing that comes up as I read the Passion or hear it read is an overwhelming sense of just how much I fall short of the immense love that is portrayed through the Passion, love that is meant for me and you, love that redeems us who are so unworthy and often so ungrateful. As Catherine de Hueck Doherty has written, “. . . his infinite mercy will cover our sins if only we cry out to him for it. . . . It is our week to find out how little we love, or how much. And no matter how much we do love, it is our week to cry out to the Lord to learn to love him more.” (from Season of Mercy, quoted in Give us this day for March, p. 236.)

Palm Sunday is similar to Ash Wednesday in that something is given out: the ashes, the palms. And on these occasions there are often people who come to the door of the church to “get” there ashes and palms, but who do not participate in the liturgies or prayers of the particular day. I used to look at these people with disdain, but over the years I’ve learned to look on them with a different attitude (as in the renewal of my mind—see the reflections for 3/15 and 3/16). There are some people whose grasp of the faith is based only on what they can grasp as they reach out for a free gift, a free, unmerited, undeserved gift, and isn’t that true of all of use on whatever level we may live. I recall the Gospel passage where a woman reached out to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment, and that mere touch was enough to heal her and have her sins forgiven.

We cannot be condescending to those who reach out in this way; it was enough for Jesus, and although it my rankle our own sense of superiority (and we all have it in one form or another), it must be enough for us as well. Meanwhile, those of us whose lives are centered on the liturgies of Holy Week, it is we who have received a tremendous gift, again a gift unmerited or undeserved, and a gift which shall not be taken away from us.

Let us begin, if not with the liturgy, then at least with some time for reflective reading of the story of our salvation.

God bless you.

"Papa . . . "

As we draw nearer to Holy Week and to the horrors of Good Friday, the readings for daily Mass are already leaning in that direction. Today is a particularly ominous scene, and we can actually feel ourselves engulfed in shadows and fog and gloom:

I hear the whisperings of many: ‘Terror on every side!’ Denounce! Let us denounce him!’

All those who were my friends are on the watch for any misstep of mine: ‘Perhaps he will be trapped; then we can prevail, and take our vengeance on him.’  Jeremiah 20:10-12

When I reflect on this passage, I can hear the voice of Jesus telling these thing to His Father during the many times when he withdrew for private prayer. “Papa, this is what is happening. This is what they are saying about me. I am frightened, Papa. I know You will deliver me, but still I am frightened.”

Jesus Christ: both human and divine. He refers to God the Creator as Papa, like a little child expressing great intimacy and trust, yet the human Jesus rightfully is frightened about the events that are taking place as the Pharisees and scribes and religious leaders and plotting to kill him, and even as Judas, who was his friend, is contemplating treachery against the one he had been calling Lord.

“Papa, I am frightened.”

Do you realize that you have a right to pray in this way since you are a child of God by adoption and through your faith?

One final thought: never neglect to hold in your heart all the millions of people in the world who are, right now, victims of hatred and evil, most especially those Christians in the Middle East who are becoming victims of genocide. Pray for anyone whose spirit might cry out, “Papa, I am frightened.”

Terrible things are happening and are going to happen. But God will prevail, no matter what happens to them on this side of life.

God bless you.

More about change from within.

Renewal of your mind, part 2

I did some more research around the word “renewal” and found a few things that might also be helpful. The complete quote in question is found in Romans 12:2: Do not be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Now: the Greek word used there is the word for “metamorphosis,” which does indicate that come kind of a change is meant to be taking place; indeed, some change in appearance. Question: Are you appearing differently to others because of what you have been experiencing in your faith journey?

Interestingly enough, the Greek word is also closely related to another word which refers to transfiguration—such as the Transfiguration of the Lord that we heard about on the Second Sunday of Lent. During the Transfiguration, Jesus was changed as if from within in appearance. Question: What has been happening within you, or is something about to happen within you?”

I also offer a few quotes or phrases that come from various commentaries on the text:

·         “raised to a new level of being”

·         “a change that brings us more into accordance with the will of God”

·         the mind is changed in a way that makes it “an instrument of good” rather than of evil.

·         transformation “of character and conduct”

·         things move in 2 directions: what precedes from within and what follows it as a consequence.

·         clearer insight into what we ought to be and do.

·         giving the mind new desires, tastes, and directions

·         “the truth which renews the mind has a greater hold on me than it ever did before.”

I put these into quotation marks because they come from a website called Biblehub.com, a sight which provides a wide assortment of commentaries on just about every word or passage from the Bible.

If you’d like to peruse it yourself, go to biblehub.com/commentaries, type in the word or passage you’re interested in, and you will be led to a wealth of material on the subject.

Ultimate questions: how are the things quoted above being manifested in my own life? Is there anything in particular that I would like to pray for in these closing days of Lent?

God bless you.

How are things changing within you?

Be transformed by the renewal of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

Consider this: Over the past several months, has there been a change in your way of thinking? Thinking about your faith or the various aspects of your faith, or perhaps a slight adjustment in the way you look at the world and about your own life?

If you are a praying person, if you read the scriptures or other holy books, if you have remained open to the Lord working on your mind much like a potter works with a block of clay, then the renewal is taking place. And I assure you that the renewal will continue to take place as long as you are open to receiving what the Lord is trying to teach you, often without words, in your experience and in your prayer and in the way you live your life and live in relationship with other persons.

As for me, I take great delight when I discover myself acting in ways that I probably would not have acted in the past. I take great delight when I don’t pay any more attention to the gut reactions I have to things, but rather am able to hold them up to the light of what I have been studying or receiving in prayer. How about you?

Six months ago I would have approached this particular issue and tension in this way; now, however, I have discovered that it is possible to toss away my original way of acting and put on a new way of thinking which has led to a peaceful and profitable resolution to the tension which was “running the show” in me for a while. And that is what I think Paul means when he talks about the “renewal” of our minds.

In addition to that, I am discovering that much of what the world esteems as valuable is nothing other than an idol made of sand, and that things I once thought were interesting now seem vapid and empty. Again, renewal of the mind.

Can you relate to any of these things? Today in quiet time, I invite you to consider your own situation and make note of the changes that have been taking place. The Lord loves you and continues to work with you (and me) bit by bit, step by step, as we discover a new outlook on life and on the issues and desires in our lives.

God bless you.

The Death of a Monk

One of our monks died this morning, and his death put an end to his suffering. Old age was not kind to him at all, and he suffered from a variety of ailments in addition to being legally blind and seriously hard of hearing. I remember one day in particular when I was standing by a staircase and I heard a frantic cry for help. I had to search to find out where it was coming from because there were many echoes. I finally found him down on a landing between floors. He was shaking like a leaf and it was hard to get through his nervousness to calm him down so I could lead him back upstairs. I have no idea how he had managed to get himself down there. What a frightening thing he had to endure.

When I heard of his death, a thought immediately came to mind: “Now he can see again!!!!!”

In the days to come we will be offering the usual rounds of monastic prayers for him. I particularly like the “Office of the Dead” which we will pray when his body is brought to the monastery. It’s not a morbid thing at all. The emphasis is on passing through death to life, and the psalms are filled with hints and images of resurrection: “I am sure I shall see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living.” Things like that.

Some monks will get very nervous, especially those who are responsible for preparing the liturgies and the funeral. There are so many details to take care of, but I suspect you know exactly what that’s like if you’ve suffered the death of a loved one.

This is also a time for greater silence, and tremendous respect for one another. We never can know for sure how each of us is processing our brother’s death, and so we tend to be particularly careful of one another. It is possible that one or two of us will get very angry, since that is a natural part of the grieving process, and we are reminded by Saint Benedict that we should “try to be the first to show respect to the other, supporting with the greatest patience one another’s weaknesses of body or behavior . . . “ (Rule of Saint Benedict, chapter 72 verses 4-5.)

There’s one thing I already noticed when we were praying noon prayer a little while ago. When we are praying the office (morning and evening prayer, night prayer and noon prayer), the words of the psalms tend to jump off the page and right into our hearts. This becomes a special contemplative time.

Monastic funerals are beautiful things, and whenever we go through one I can’t help reminding myself that one day will be my turn, and my brothers will do the same wonderful things for me that we are doing for our deceased confrère now.

Have I told you that I love my monastic life?

God bless you, and may the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen.

Catch the grace

Catch the Grace

Grace floats by,  humble and free,

   and renders itself so easy to un-sense.

But if we open for it, we can

   see it hovering near

   as on the wings of an angel.

   It only takes a quick  glimpse from a soul bowed down,

                a glimpse of the light

                extinguished not by the darkness

                of desires

                                raging from the realm of the lost.

Reach beyond your fear to catch it

   and there! it rests in your soul’s hand

                allowed by your allowing,

                accepted by your accepting,

brought to life,

embraced,

nourished,

empowered not by your impotence

but by the fertility of God

   Who through love gave life

and Who can do it again,

   even in us who have willed not creation, but destruction,

                not life but death,

                not heaven but hell.

© 2016, Bede Gary Camera, O.S.B.

Loving the good

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Phil 4:8)

A few questions/suggestions for your consideration:

·         When, where and how have you reflected this verse in your day-to-day life?

·         What tendencies or weaknesses cause you to fall short of what is listed in this verse?

·         What have you done this week that is worthy of praise? It doesn’t have to be some major accomplishment or effort. Think on the little things.

·         Have you made sacrifices from time to time (again, something small will do) in order to support whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely or gracious?

·         If you repeat this verse throughout the day, or write it on a small piece of paper and carry it with you, how might it guide your choices and actions now, today?

·         Can you use this verse as a lifeline when you a drowning in selfish or bad thoughts?

·         Can you see this verse operating in the earthly life of Jesus Christ and the saints?

·         How strongly can you cling to what it represents?

·         How strongly do you yearn for your life to be about this verse?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church uses this verse to introduce its section about the virtues. If you have a catechism, you can begin reading about the virtues at ¶ 1803. For the time being, simply consider its basic definition of virtue in 1803:

A virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.

God bless you.

He is with me and in me.

The Jesus Prayer:

 “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God,

have mercy on me, a sinner.

I often meditate and, as was the ancient custom, use the Jesus Prayer as a mantra, inhaling on the first line and exhaling on the second. One of the nice things about praying this way is that the Jesus Prayer can be recited silently in the heart many times during the day, especially times when there aren’t any particular demands being put upon us. Use it when you are waiting in line, or whenever you remember it during your work day. I also like to use it after receiving communion, at the very moment when I have taken Christ into my body.

The more we say it as in meditation, for example, the more naturally the prayer forms in our minds or on our lips. Use it in the elevator or in the doctor’s office, use it when beginning an important piece of work, use it in moments of silence during Mass (if you are fortunate enough to worship where there is esteem for silence). Use it in the shower or in bed before you fall asleep. Use it when waiting for the Windows Updates to be installed (instead of growing impatient and annoyed). Use it anywhere and anytime you think of it.

When I say the prayer, especially during meditation, I used to think that Jesus was “up there” in the heavens while I’m down here on earth. I “looked up” to say “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God,” and then “looked down” to say “have mercy on me a sinner.” And I’ve been doing this for years.

Recently, however, I had a revelation. There is no need to look up and then down. Jesus Christ is with me and in me and his grace and mercy flows throughout my entire being—body, spirit and soul.

All is Jesus. So now when I say the prayer, I focus on my own heart and gut and remember that Jesus is alive and at work in me even during those times when I am not aware of it. And in this way, the Jesus Prayer becomes a full-body prayer, and I am led to contemplate the precious mystery which is given to us at all times as gift, as presence, as reality and as mystery. It no longer a question of him up there and me down here. Now it is an expression of divine union, every time I utter or think the words of the prayer.

Give it a try, will you?

God bless you.

From Good Friday to Easter Sunday

Have you lived a Paschal Mystery? That is, have you travelled the journey from Good Friday to Easter Sunday in your own life and met God along the way?

Paschal Mystery: A time when it seemed that all was lost, but then you rose from the ashes to a new life that was better than the life you left.

Paschal Mystery: A time of great loss that gave way to new blessings that you never could have imagined before.

Paschal Mystery: A time of suffering that gave way to a time of relief and restoration?

Paschal Mystery: A time when you fell so low that you thought God might give up on you (My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?) only to find that God was there supporting you and lifting you up and restoring to you your lost dignity?

Paschal Mystery: Someone might be lying right now on a bed of pain, terminally ill, awaiting or even hoping for death, hoping that the death they have to pass through will help them experience the words, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Some of us might be at the Good Friday stage of our own Paschal Mystery—some of us might be suffering, or might be disappointed, humiliated, bewildered, confused, unsure or tempted to despair—in other words, some of us may be experiencing our own Good Friday during this Lent. If so, don’t give up hope: look beyond your pain and your loss to an Easter Sunday which is sure to follow.

And on the journey, you will encounter Christ. Look for Him. Pray for Him to reveal Himself to you.

God bless you.

Tiny poems about creativity

Five brief poems about creativity and openness. (I call them Creativity Tapas.)

I.

Listen to God

                                who speaks in a whisper

                                     or sometimes without words

                                      in a language known only to your soul.

II.

God creates out of nothing.

                We create out of what He has created.

                                Don’t take all the credit yourself.

III.

There comes a time

  in a creative life

    when silence becomes so much more important

       than the noise we’ve settled for.

IV.

Stage One:

idea. notion. concept. hypothesis. hunch. brainstorm. inspiration.

Respect what you are given.

Give it the attention it deserves.

                 (or maybe even  more)

Override negative, blocking, uninvited interference:

    let it not hamper

                let it not disempower.

                                let it not abort                  

Stay open and receptive as the spirit hovers about you.

Use a scrap of paper

                (or a napkin as so many have done)

                                sketch 

                                                doodle

                                                                use your words.

Take delight in the gestation.

                or simply in the play.

This is good practice.

V.

The pull to be present to the moment—

                                                          surrender to it. Let your mind stuff be, and follow . . ..

They dropped their nets and followed him.  (Mark 1)

Pray that we be spared

I’ve been casting around looking for a verse from the Psalms for today’s reflection, yet here it is almost 4 pm and I’m torn about writing today, because my most fervent prayer at the moment is that God save our country from the horror that we are facing at this time in our history, and I have been determined that I would not write about current events or politics in these reflections. But I’ve been sitting here at my computer with psalm books and sources open around me, and I can’t manage to free my mind from two things I read today in the news. And so I have to wonder if this is what I’m meant to write about today.

Every day that goes by the situation gets worse, as every day Donald Trump takes one more step towards bringing us to the brink of what was happening in Germany in the 30’s last century. And the thing that is the most frightening of all to me is that by and large the people who support him so vehemently, including members of my own family, are completely ignorant of what happened in Germany in the 30’s. Who was it that said, “Those who are ignorant of history are bound to repeat it?”

And yet, in their ignorance, hundreds of thousands of Americans are bringing us to that time. Two images stand out for me today. The first is the sight of what happened the other night in Florida when Trump got his followers to raise their right arms to pledge that they would vote for him in the primaries. “Heil Trump.” Oh my God, no! Haven’t any of those people seen the images of the Hitlerian rallies? Can’t they realize that they are being duped into repeating the same images here and now?

The second item was one that was mentioned briefly in one of my news sources, claiming that Trump has declared that Muslims should be made to wear identifying badges on their clothing. Not yellow stars, but it might as well be.

Pray, my friends. Pray that our system of government will be strong enough to withstand these attacks on decency and sanity. Pray especially to mother Mary, who is the patroness of the United States.

And please forgive me from breaking my “no politics” rule, just this once.

The only scriptural passage I have to offer you today is from Psalm 12:

Help, O Lord, for good men have vanished:

truth has gone from the sons of men.

What must the psalmist been seeing when he was looking around and was inspired to write those words? I’m beginning to come closer to understanding it. One thing that really horrifies me (among many) is the knowledge that there are so many bigots and racists in this country and that in Trump they are able to float their bigotry as a badge of honor. I never realized before just how many of them there are and how virulent their hatred. God help us.

And God bless us all.

Silence heals

I had to go to the hospital yesterday for some testing. As usual, I brought a book with me in case I had to wait. I got to the waiting room, where there was a wall-mounted TV set blaring loud enough that it was impossible to read. There were a number of people in the room already, and their eyes were all glued to the TV—some program with a group of women sitting around a table and talking about . . . well,  nothing. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long before my name was called.

This wasn’t an isolated instance. As you probably know yourself, it’s a regular thing now to have television sets playing in waiting rooms for doctors’ offices. I could help thinking how much we are bombarded with noise and with valueless input every place we turn. There are so few places for silence any more. Few places where we can simply sit and think, or pray, or reflect on what is going on in our lives—and, as I’ve often said, these things are necessities in our lives if we are to live from the heart and from the spirit with any sense of self-awareness, recollection or reflection.

Just test your own experience. Even while you are reading these words, is there quiet around you? Or do you have to struggle to keep your focus on what you’re reading at the moment?

Something else happened yesterday. I was in the Abbey church opening up the organ to get ready for Vespers, when a woman came into the church and asked me if it was OK for her to sit there for a while. I invited her to stay for as long as she liked, and she sat down in a choir stall with a heavy sigh, and lowered her head. I thought she might begin to cry, but she didn’t, but she looked overburdened and distressed.

After a few moments she got up and started for the door. As she passed by me she thanked me, and said, “It’s such a wonderful thing to find a place where you can come and breathe in holy.” Just like that.

I smiled and said “God bless you” and she was off. I said a quick prayer for her and I hoped that she would come back to the church another time and perhaps find a sense of security here, and perhaps a place for recollection and rest.

A favorite verse from the psalms came to mind: “In the shadow of your wings I take refuge till the storms of destruction pass by.” (Psalm 57:2)

We need those places of hiding. If possible, we need to create them as well. And we need to provide them for others. Sometime during the day, even if only for 30 seconds, deep down beneath the noise and the distractions, close your eyes and take a deep breath and hide, and rest, and let the Lord speak to your soul in a language without words that can exist only in the silence of our hearts.

God bless you.

Where you are weakest, there is God

“You know, Father, my life is going along pretty well. I’m trying to lead a virtuous life and in almost every area, thank God, I’m succeeding. But there is this one thing. A weakness I have. I’m tempted so often to give in to it, and sometimes, I must confess, I do, and then immediately hate myself afterwards. And it’s then that I feel so far from God and feel that He might actually give up on me. I try so hard, but I just can’t overcome it.”

How would you answer him?

I’ll tell you what I had to say: “You’re talking about the weakest part of your life, the most negative thing you have going on, this one thing that overtakes everything else and makes you feel  not worthy of God any more. But don’t you see? It is at that particular point—at that one area where you are most helpless and most weak, that God comes to be with you and shower you with his love and compassion. That is what he does for you, for me, for all of us.”

And I say to you: Don’t be afraid of those dark and weak parts of your life. Don’t think you have to get rid of them or get them fixed in order for God to love you. God accepts everything---every single aspect of our being, the negative as well as the positive, and where we are weakest, that is where his grace (and by grace I mean love and compassion and forgiveness) is strongest.

And do you know what else? In some way that will one day be clear to you, God will use everything in your life for His own good purposes. That’s right. Everything. Just think of King David, the inspired poet who gave us the Psalms, many of which are love poems to God. At the weakest point in his life he was guilty of adultery and murder. And he finally admitted his guilt (see the reflection a while back about Psalm 51), and he was punished for it, but God did not give  up on him. And he will not give up on your or me, either.

By the way, I’m reading a wonderful book called Things Hidden: scripture as spirituality by Richard Rohr. That book inspired today’s reflection, and I suspect you’ll be hearing more about it as time goes by. But if you’re looking for some good spiritual reading for Lent, this might be just what you’re looking for.

God bless you. In your strength and in your weakness.

Hear Him call you by name

I found a hymn that is meant to be sung to accompany the story of the Prodigal Son (which is the Gospel passage for the 4^th Sunday of Lent, Year C).

As you probably have noticed, I base a lot of my reflections on hymn texts, since I am a musician, and since I believe that a great many hymn texts are good teaching tools and provide a poetic interpretation of good theology.

The first verse of the hymn is as follows:

Our Father, we have wandered and hidden from your face;

In foolishness have squandered your legacy of grace.

But now, in exile dwelling, we rise with fear and shame,

As, distant but compelling, we hear you call our name.

(Kevin Nichols, 1929-2006 © 1980, ICEL. Used with permission.)

The whole text could be a prayer uttered by the Prodigal Son when he was still wallowing in a misery he had created for himself (do we do that sometimes?). In fact, the second verse mentions calf and robe and ring.

By praying the hymn text, we become the Prodigal Son. We have foolishly squandered our legacy, a legacy filled with blessings which we did not receive because of our own stubbornness, ignorance and misdeeds. Oh, what our lives might have been like if we had been open to all of the graces that the Lord has tried to send us! Oh, what our lives might become if we remain open and faithful from this point on and waste nothing of what we have been given. The prophet Isaiah cries out to us, Why do you spend your wages on what fails to satisfy? (Isaiah 55:2) and then he exhorts us: Eat what is good and delight yourself in abundance.”

I also hear an echo in this poem of the plight of Adam and Eve, hidden from God because they realized they were naked, and then thrust into exile. Are we in exile as well? And how is it that we are in exile?

The Prodigal Son, while lost in his sinfulness, still hears the faint voice of his father calling for him. The voice is distant but compelling, the hymn says. I am reminded of John the Baptist in prison and how Herod found something compelling about his preaching, but was afraid to draw near and heed. Is the Lord trying to say something to us which we are not ready to hear?

But yet, God is calling us by name, and continues to call us by name until at last we let go and surrender ourselves into his arms. The Son felt fear and dread about what his fate would be. We have no reason to fear. Christ died for us while we were at the lowest point in our lives, that our sins might be wiped away in his blood. What do we have to fear other than our own resistance?

God bless you.