“You know, Father, my life is
going along pretty well. I’m trying to lead a virtuous life and in almost every
area, thank God, I’m succeeding. But there is this one thing. A weakness
I have. I’m tempted so often to give in to it, and sometimes, I must confess, I
do, and then immediately hate myself afterwards. And it’s then that I feel so
far from God and feel that He might actually give up on me. I try so hard, but
I just can’t overcome it.”
How would you answer him?
I’ll tell you what I had to say:
“You’re talking about the weakest part of your life, the most negative thing
you have going on, this one thing that overtakes everything else and makes you
feel not worthy of God any more. But don’t
you see? It is at that particular point—at that one area where you are
most helpless and most weak, that God comes to be with you and shower you with
his love and compassion. That is what he does for you, for me, for all of us.”
And I say to you: Don’t be
afraid of those dark and weak parts of your life. Don’t think you have to get
rid of them or get them fixed in order for God to love you. God accepts
everything---every single aspect of our being, the negative as well as
the positive, and where we are weakest, that is where his grace (and by grace I
mean love and compassion and forgiveness) is strongest.
And do you know what else? In
some way that will one day be clear to you, God will use everything in
your life for His own good purposes. That’s right. Everything. Just think of
King David, the inspired poet who gave us the Psalms, many of which are love
poems to God. At the weakest point in his life he was guilty of adultery and
murder. And he finally admitted his guilt (see the reflection a while back
about Psalm 51), and he was punished for it, but God did not give up on him. And he will not give up on
your or me, either.
By the way, I’m reading a
wonderful book called Things Hidden:
scripture as spirituality by Richard Rohr. That book inspired today’s
reflection, and I suspect you’ll be hearing more about it as time goes by. But
if you’re looking for some good spiritual reading for Lent, this might be just
what you’re looking for.
God bless you. In your strength
and in your weakness.
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