Civility in speech and other matters.

The decline of civility in political discourse, in radio talk shows and in other places is one of my common concerns as I get older. I wish this quote would get around. Maybe you can help.

"Definite characters are uncomfortable ones in this world, whether they are criminals or saints. People don't like others with strong opinions, unless they are opinions they hold themselves, and even then they don't admire vehemence in speech."    from Testimony of Two Men (Taylor Caldwell. 1968)

Putting up with the faults of others

  Some words of wisdom are universal; they apply to everyone of every faith or no faith, and of every race and nation and time. This one happens to come from a little book  known as The Imitation of Christ. A google search will offer lots of information about this medieval classic. Any, here is what "hit close to home" today:

Take pains to be patient in bearing the faults and weaknesses of others, for you too have many flaws that others must put up with. If you cannot make yourself as you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person entirely to your liking? We would willingly have others be perfect, and yet we fail to correct our own faults. We want others to be strictly corrected, and yet we are unwilling to be corrected ourselves.

A free pfd copy of this challenging book is available here.

A fool is caught in his own words.

. . . or something like that. I couldn't find the exact quote.

IMHO     Have you ever noticed how some of our most outspoken congressmen tell us more about themselves than about the issues they sound off about? They should just open their mouths and shout: "Hey, everyone! I am a bigot!" "Hey, everyone, I am appallingly ignorant and believe everything I think even though I'm not very good at thinking!" 
   BUT, people who are ignorant or bigoted (two t's?) agree with them and vote for them. That's why they're congressmen. God help us!
   BUT then again, whenever I read history I discover that this has always been true of so many politicians, and somehow we've managed to survive.
   BUT then again, the same thing applies to some radio talk show hosts, and they are popular with the unthinking masses.
   BUT then again, it also applies to a lot of preachers or self-appointed demigogues.

And then again it's probably true of all of us, myself included, but today I just wanted to sound off about legislators today after reading a few news items.

Distractions, the Mass and Taoist principles

I got distracted for a few minutes yesterday during Mass, as everyone does at times. Meanwhile the Mass kept going along without my inner participation; it does keep flowing along and if we ”check out” by being distracted, we can always “return” when aware of the distraction. Just let it be, let it flow through you without getting stuck in you (or you getting stuck in it). If and when that happens no matter how often it happens, we are each welcomed back and can take up our places anew. IMHO, there is no need for reproach or self-reproach, no need for any guilt or blame or discouraging scrupulosity. We simply come back with a new awareness, a return to mindfulness, a return to the Now. We simply return and are blessed. It’s that simple.

More about distractions: there are several activities of the mind that serve to keep us distracted, off track, out of balance with the inner peace we are meant to have, that elusive state-of-being which a Taoist would call  harmony with the universe or harmony with Tao. These are some of those activities which keep us off balance: interests, habits, excuses, worry, stress, intellectualism, scheming and desires. Deng Ming-Dao notes that “it is inevitable that one will fall in and out of Tao.” I respect that realism, and it is what prompted my thoughts about distractions at Mass.

Have you ever wondered . . .

. . . what it would be like to sneeze while you were coughing? It happened to me just this morning. First time in my life. Very weird experience. Not really enjoyable. And the noise I made was rather unique. All small animals within a 100 foot radius fainted.

Really. Well, ok, not the part about the animals.

Update, 2/24: It happened again this morning. I wonder if it has anything to do with aging?

Living deeply takes time

A scene in a recent class: We were having a rather interesting discussion the other day. As the discussion went on, I noticed that the whole group was quieting down and the conversation slowed down. Then . . . silence. Not the silence of comatose students or of students who had tuned out, but rather the kind of silence that accompanies deep reflection, almost like the silence of the monastic community after listening to a powerful reading at the Divine Office. It was obvious that the discussion had sparked something within. The last thing they needed was for me to reproach them for not continuing the discussion, or for me to move on to a more trivial topic in order to "snap them out of it"--something that happens all too often in a world where people are being conditioned to become more and more shallow.

Suddenly an idea came to mind. "Ok," I said, "it looks like you are all at work processing what we've been discussing, so I invite you to take out your journals and continue the inner conversation on paper." It was wonderful to behold: without a second's hesitation, each of them dove into the page and started writing, and this continued for 5 minutes before I asked them to stop. At that point they were all still writing.

I asked them what they were writing about (indicating that it was perfectly okay to "pass.") One by one, they shared the topics of their musings. More than a dozen students spoke. Each had grabbed onto a different aspect of the discussion.

A couple of thoughts about the experience:

• This is so much more important than "teaching to the test," as so many teachers are forced to do these days.
• The students each moved in a different direction. They were learning what they were ready to learn, and pondering what resonated with their own lives. How could one possibly determine what it was they were "supposed to be" learning, or even dare to test them on the day's discussion. That would be a violation of their experience, and if the test didn't address what was most important to them, it could also be a trivializing of the important learning that had taken place. At that moment, I didn't need to grade them; their faces told me all I needed to know. (And I'm sure they'll tell me more in their next reflection paper.
• So often in our treadmill world, we are dragged from experience to experience until our minds are crowed, our sensitivity is dulled, and our souls are starved. It is so important to take the time we need to process what has been happening in our lives.
• After watching a powerful movie or play, I would much rather spend a few minutes with my journal, than have to listen to what those around me thought of the movie (therefore taking myself out of the experience). There is a time and a place for those interractions as well, but before they occur, we need to have the time and the space we need to, as is said of Mary, treasure these things in our heart.

Why organizations lose their best employees

This from a conference given to our community by Fr. Michael Casey, O.S.C.O.

Over the course of a year, many organisations (corporations, businesses) lose 1 out of 7 valuable employees, the kind of employees they would really like to keep.

There are several reasons

• inept management
• poor, insufficient training for the job
• a lack of recognition or rewards
• Above all, a lack of listening.

Message to employers, supervisors, etc: If your talented people are not happy, you have got to find out why.

I agree, IMHO, for what it is worth.

Away from the screen = more creativity

I'm working on a book which many are encouraging me to get published. The process itself is worth the effort, no matter what the result. So while writing the book, I'm observing the process to see what it has to tell me. It's been telling me many things:

1. There is an internal "critic" trying to convince me that I'm wasting my time, that it's not good enough, that no one will be interested in it, etc. etc. etc. This critic, who I have named "Sigmoid" (I know it's a rather messy part of the colon, so it fits well), is having a fit that I'm having so much fun. Sigmoid is also on my case about the Blog. Is he worth listening to?
2. I'm recovering from surgery and have not been able to carry my laptop from my office to my "cell." Guess what? I've been getting more useful insight about the book away from the computer than when I spent all my time at the computer working on the book. Go figure . . .

Have a nice day!

Plugging Back into Monastic Rhythm

Monastic life has a time-table called the horarium, which is a daily schedule of Liturgies, Meals, Spiritual Reading and Recreation. The schedule moves steadily along, with occasional changes for special events. Most people think that this relentless rhythm must be tedious and monotonous, My youngest brother said to me after only a few hours here, "This could get to be boring!" Well, here I am, 27 years later, and I haven't been bored yet.

For the monk, keeping the horarium is both a discipline and a great gift. Our customary says that "it frees the monk from futility," and that is indeed true.

What I especially appreciate now, as I'm  slowly but steadily recovering from my back surgery, is that the horarium is there, running on its course, and the rest of the brethren are keeping it and praying at the every service "for our absent brothers, Meanwhile, as I gradually feel better, I am able to "plug myself into" the schedule, bit by bit. There is no pressure to do so; what really matters is that I want to do so. (Even though at healthier times I find my little ways to avoid parts of it--alas, we're all human.) But on the whole, it is, indeed, a gift to be savored and treasured. And I look forward to the time when I'll be completely "on line," as it were, albeit looking for ways to get around it all.

A mini-"vacation" in a hospital waiting room.

Well, I'm back sooner than I expected to be. The operation was a success, but obviously I am dealing with a lot of surgical pain. Writing helps distract me.

So there I was--walking into the "Pre-Op Family Waiting Room," which was very nicely appointed. I noticed some striking works of art on the walls, all different scenes from Italian villas. So instead of sitting around waiting and being nervous, I decided to take a trip through the mini art gallery in the waiting room. I actually walked from one piece to another; they were very evocative and for a few moments I was drawn into a lovely world. It was a nice vacation. Certainly better than sitting and waiting for my name to be called, with fearful thoughts going through my head.

And, by the way, I love Catholic Medical Center. Such wonderful, loving care in such a pleasant setting.
Sick joke: When it comes to dealing with pain, the Catholics do it best!

Hospital visit

I am having a surgical procedure done (nothing terribly serious) this afternoon and probably won't be on line for the next several days. Let's assume that my next post will be on Sunday. Have a good week! Please keep me in your prayers.

Some things are left to be mysteries.

   There are several issues going on in my life that I simply don't understand. There are several issues going on in my life that don't make any sense to me at all. And decisions have been made in some matters that I disagree with, sometimes strongly. Grrrrr. . . . 
   I'll bet you can say the same thing. And I wouldn't be surprised if you, like me, have some theories about why these things are the way they are. But theories are not facts, and sometimes I forget that.
   I have learned after years of struggle, that I simply have to "let them be," recognize and admit that they are beyond my grasp at the moment, and surrender them until God chooses to enlighten me.

   This has brought me not a small measure of peace. I'm not saying I am able to do it all the time, but when I do, I am at peace.

   How about you?

Salt and Light

I am always delighted when a preacher makes a connection in his homily that I have never seen for myself.
One of my brother monks did that at Mass yesterday. The Gospel was "salt and light" (Matthew 5:13-16). The homilist said, "Salt and light: Taste and see."
What a wonderful Eucharistic reference. Thanks, brother!

If you don't have the time, make the time.

As this blog develops, I notice that I am posting my students write to me. A word of explanation: I teach a course called Creativity for Artists, Writers and Musicians to a group of seniors preparing for graduation. As part of their assignments they are required to write me a "letter" every week during the semester telling about how they are using material from the course in their daily lives. More about that some other time.
This week, a student wrote "I am not the only one on this campus who feels that they do not have a moment to think."

My response: It's not only people on campus who feel that way. Our lives tend to be too busy, too frenetic, too noisy, too impulsive, affording us little time or "space" to be reflective. We are programmed to be shallow,vapid and grasping, collecting one experience after another without ever having the opportunity to process them on any but the most superficial level.  I remember a TV ad broadcasted over 25 years ago that claimed a certain kind of yogurt would "feed your soul." I found it so demeaning, to suggest that my soul is something that could be "fed" by the right kind of sour milk! And that was 25 years ago. It just keeps getting worse. You cannot expect things to change once you graduate and enter the "real world."
   The truth is that you cannot depend on schools or other institutions, workplaces or other environments other than retreat houses and monasteries to nurture your most important needs. You need to make choices that will give you the time you need to stay balanced and reflective in a way that both nurtures your life and that provides you with balance, thoughtfulness and gratitude on a daily basis. Even taking the time to read this is more than a lot of people can handle. You've read this to the end. Congratulations! You have already taken a big step in the right direction."

A quiet drive

A student writes,

I usually drive with my music obnoxiously loud, but the other day I decided to find out what it’s like without the music blaring. I found myself driving completely quiet, completely enjoying my time in the car on the highway. I was thinking about nothing in particular, just the excitement of seeing my family and my dog, but mostly I just watched other cars drive by me and town exits go by. I found myself being completely content with myself just being with myself, no radio distractions and no people around.

From my daily readings I: participation and aliveness

This comes from a book of daily meditations called 356 Tao by Deng Ming-Dao:

Whatever comes to you, you must engage it somehow. You receive it, you may alter the circumstances and let it go, you may interject something of your own into it, or you may knowingly let it pass. Whatever you do, there is no need to be apathetic toward life. Instead, full participation in all things is the surest way to happiness, vitality and success . . .

When we're depressed we systematically shut down those things which bring us aliveness. It becomes a vicious cycle. This is a good quote to have handy when you're going through a low period.

From my daily readings II: anger

I'm reading the homilies on John's Gospel by St. John Chrysostom, and I came across this passage about anger and what it does to a person:

Nothing is more shameful than a countenance ablaze with anger, nothing more disfigured. . . . for just as a noisome odor is given off when mud is stirred up, so when the soul is disturbed by anger great impropriety and unpleasantness will result.

. . .  if you parry reviling with reviling,you have kindled the blaze still more.  (A modern variation on this is, "It's the second statement that starts the argument."

. . . he who indulges in anger . . . already begins to pay the penalty for his action, by introducing into his inmost thoughts a certain unceasing rest and persistent distress all through the night and all through the day.

So, questions of the day: Do you find this to be true in your life? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

What we miss when we're yapping, part 2

no favoritism here!

I can't believe it! I'm in the campus coffee shop. I just went to the counter to get a couple of sweetener packets. As I was doing that, I was yapping with a student.

I went back to my seat and realized that I had grabbed TEN packets. Ooops!

Becoming more aware

I asked my students to go and do something completely alone and report back about what they noticed. Here is what one person wrote:

Going out into the wilderness with no worries in the world was one of the most enjoyable, relaxing, amazing experiences I have had in my entire life. I found myself imagining and thinking about things that I would not have otherwise. If I was with someone else, I would have been too engaged in conversation to notice some of the aspects of nature that I did.

How much do we miss because we're constantly yapping. What if you stopped talking on your cell phone while walking from one place to another? I bet your world will be come much bigger than what you're yapping about.