The "Cloud of Forgetting"

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

I wanted to meditate last night, so I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, but my mind was so filled with people and plans and thoughts about things that have been happening, that instead of reaching a meditative state I found myself becoming more and more frustrated and anxious. And so I offered this frustration and anxiety to God, saying to Him, “I’m sorry, Lord, but this is all I have tonight.” And a verse from the psalms came to mind: “O God, come to my assistance, O Lord make haste to help me.”

And I kept repeating this prayer and found my spirit moving towards a greater peace. As I continued to pray these lines in harmony with my breathing, the prayer was eventually whittled down to two words: “God” on the inhalation, “help” on the exhalation. And as I continued to breath and to limit my thinking to just these two words, the thoughts and cares and plans and people and issues faded away.

Finally, in my thoughts I found myself in a concrete cell---only big enough to hold me as I was seated in my chair. The cell was completely bare and there was no entrance nor exit, and I found that I was completely alone with God. I continued praying my prayer words and found that my prayer was heard. It was not frightening to be in this cell; no, I felt safe and protected and free to direct my loving thoughts only to God while nothing else could get into the cell to distract me. This state continued for the rest of my meditation time, until at last the bell I use sounded to end the period of meditation. And I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord.

This morning during my lectio period, I discovered these words of Dame Julian of Norwich. It is almost as if she were speaking directly to my experience last evening:

It is God’s will to be known, and it pleases him that we rest in him; for all that is beneath him is not sufficient for us. And this is the reason why no soul can rest till it is naughted of all things that are made. When it is willingly naughted, for love, so as to have him who is all, then it is able to receive spiritual rest.

Finally, the anonymous writer of The Cloud of Unknowing calls us to put everything made underneath a cloud of forgetting when we go to meditate.

. . . you must put a clout of forgetting beneath you, between you and all the creatures that were ever made. . . . . I mean not only the creatures themselves, but also their works and conditions. I exclude no creatures, whether they be bodily creatures or spiritual; nor any condition or work of any creature, whether they be good or evil. But, to speak briefly, all should be hidden under the cloud of forgetting.

Use what helps, and leave the rest aside for now.

God bless you!