Spirituality for Beginners

Fr. Bede's almost-daily reflections. When it comes to the spiritual life, we're all beginners. I also send these out by email. Contact me at bcamera@anselm.edu. God bless!





Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's OK to say "I don't know."

Parker Palmer (Let your life speak) tells how a depressed person once asked him why it is that some people recover from depression and why some end up killing themselves. All he could answer is, "I have no idea."
He felt guilty about giving that answer--about not giving that person more help. He felt he had let her down. But then, two days later, she sent him a note which thanked him for his words (I have no idea) and told him how it made so much more sense than some of the simplistic religious explanations.
It turned out she didn't need an explanation; what she needed was to hear that someone beside herself struggled with answers to the basic questions of life. She felt liberated. As Palmer explained, "my not knowing had freed her to stop judging herself for being depressed and to stop believing that God was judging her. As a result, her depression lifted a little." (p. 59)

How do you respond when someone asks you a question that you don't have a ready answer for? If you're like most people, you try to come up with some answer even though the truth is that you "have no idea."
Can you have to courage to say "I don't know" or "I have no idea" when that is actually the truth? It may be very important for someone else to hear that.

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