The Wisdom to Know the Difference

“Detachment is often misunderstood as passivity or indifference, but true detachment means that we must be willing to act if necessary or to draw back if that is better.” Philip St. Romain, Reflecting on the Serenity Prayer, p. 31.

He speaks of detachment in terms of the last phrase of the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It takes time, patience and self-discipline to reach the stage of wisdom that is spoken about here. Detachment is an excellent way of describing the work that has to be done for us to find true peace and serenity. Detachment means that we recognize what comes from our desires, our selfishness, our lusts, our preferences, our preferences, et al., and that we are willing and able to set these things aside as we try to make a true assessment of any issue that we have to face.

As long as we are attached, we cannot discern what is right to do or to avoid. Sometimes we have to wait until the desire to control or manipulate something in order to achieve our own goals has been quieted down. It might still be there to some extent, but we have to be willing and able simply to set these thing aside as we seek what is God’s will in any given circumstance, and with any particular issue, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. In fact, it may very well be that we first have to work on the little things before we can move on to the more important or powerful issues in our lives.

The ability to do this is rightly known as wisdom, which the Biblical tradition teaches can be an infused gift from God, or a reward for a certain disposition we have worked to achieve. It is possible to grow in wisdom, and this is something that we should continually pray for. The Serenity Prayer is a particularly helpful tool for our prayer.

I’ll conclude by quoting from the Book of Wisdom and pray that the passage will serve to educate and hopefully to aspire to what it describes:

Resplendent and unfading is Wisdom, and she is readily perceived by those who love her. (*note that Wisdom is personified as a woman in the Biblical literature.)

She hastens to make herself known in anticipation of men’s desire;

he who watches for her at dawn shall not be disappointed, for he shall find her sitting by his gate.

For taking thought of her is the perfection of prudence, and he who fro her sake keeps vigil shall quickly be free from care;

Because she makes her own rounds, seeking those worthy of her, and graciously appears to them in the ways and meets them with solicitude. (Wisdom 6:12-16)

God bless you!