Tuesday, February 14,
2017
In today’s Gospel passage, the
Lord rebukes the disciples:
Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes
and not see, ears and not hear? And do you not remember? (Mark 8_17-18)
I will use this rebuke as the
basis for an examination of conscience. Perhaps there will be some things that
you can use yourself.
--Yes, my heart has been
hardened. I can remember times before I had fully embraced the Lord when I was
grossly insensitive to so many things, when I was ignorant of
things which eventually served to open and soften my heart. I must pray to the
Lord the words of Psalm 25: “Do not remember the sins of my youth.”
--I find that as I get older,
and perhaps because of the practice of contemplation, I am able to see things
which I couldn’t see before: particularly the pain that other people
carry around with them. Because of the process of ongoing conversion, where
once I was prone to judge, now I am more apt to gaze upon another with empathic
understanding. The process isn’t complete yet; sometimes I still fail to
open my eyes. And on the other hand, I discover that I am becoming, bit by bit,
more able to be “blown away” by the extraordinary amount of beauty there is in
the world around me. I can take delight in, and savor things
which I have previously taken for granted. Forgive me, Lord, my lack
of gratitude and my lack of compassion.
--Can I, do I really hear what
there is around me? The hidden signals in another’s voice? Am I oblivious to the important
messages contained in the readings I hear proclaimed throughout the day and at
Mass? Am I able to hear beneath the words what another is trying to
convey? No, sometimes I am so quick to put my own filters on what
another is saying and I can not understand what another is meaning.
Please heal my deafness, Lord, and forgive those times when I have put my hands
over my ears lest I hear what would challenge, correct, or enlighten me.
--How forgetful I am! Time and
time again I am faced with a new dilemma or trial or vexing problem and I forget
all the times the Lord has come to my aid, has untangled knots, has offered
solutions and strength and forbearance in my life. And yet again, I tend to
grow fearful and to doubt that the Lord will not be with me this
time, in this event, with this obstacle or challenge. Lord, I believe; help
thou my unbelief!
That’s it for today. God bless
you!
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