Spirituality for Beginners

Fr. Bede's almost-daily reflections. When it comes to the spiritual life, we're all beginners. I also send these out by email. Contact me at bcamera@anselm.edu. God bless!





Tuesday, August 9, 2016

The groans of a guilty heart

Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Psalm study today. As I mentioned yesterday, when I reflect on the psalms with you I concentrate on those psalms and verses which have been an important part of my prayer in the monastery, as we make our way through the entire psalter regularly. Since the psalms reflect the whole gamut of human emotions and moods, it stands to reason that on any given day there might be a psalm which does not speak to me in my own current situation.

What do I do in such a case? Well, I remember that I am here to pray for those who, for one reason or another, are unable to pray for themselves or are unable to be aware of their own states of minds and emotions. In such cases, I pray for them. Keep in mind, as I have mentioned before, that fully 1/3 of the psalms in the Bible express misery and pain rather than praise and jubilation.

A good case is today’s psalm, Psalm 38. It is known as a “psalm of repentence” and expresses the pain of one who knows he has seriously sinned and is wracked with guilt and remorse. Remember that this is a Psalm of David, and if you know his history, you can put your finger on times when he was convicted of serious sin and who bowed down in repentance. And if you ever find yourself in that situation, then you would do well to turn to Psalm 38 and let it give voice to the inner turmoil in your heart. In most cases, as in mine, it will do so more eloquently than we can usually do for ourselves.

Just a sampling of the pain the Psalm expresses:

·         My guilt towers higher than my head; it is a weight too heavy to bear.
·         My wounds are foul and festering, the result of my own folly.
·         I cry aloud in anguish of heart.

Think of that: sin as folly. This psalm makes a connection between inner guilt and its outer manifestation in the sinner’s body---something that medical science is beginning to acknowledge as the result of modern research.

·         all my frame burns with fever; all  my body is sick.
·         I am bowed and brought to my knees
·         My heart throbs, my strength is spent.

And as I have said, there are times we pray this psalm when I am not experiencing what it expresses---nonetheless, I can always recall when I have been bowed down in such a way. And one of the things I do with this psalm is to pray it for those who are deeply bound in sin and in sinful situations, but are not aware of it.

Now what about the Lord’s role in the prayer of this psalm? Here we can find a firm expression of faith even in the psalmist’s misery.

·         O Lord, you know all my longing; my groans are not hidden from you.

The Lord knows the moans and groans of our heart, even when we are not aware of His presence.

·         I count on you, O Lord: it is you, Lord God, who will answer.

The psalm concludes with one last urgent plea to the Lord now that the psalmists has eloquently expressed his grief and the tortured emotions of his heart:

O Lord, do not forsake me!
My God, do not stay afar off!
Make haste and come to my help,
O Lord, my God, my savior!  (vv. 22-23)

Of course, those last lines could be used as prayers of intercession under any circumstance. Use them well!

God bless you!


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