Alone with a friend in silence

We are very fortunate indeed when we have that certain friend or companion or spouse or confrere who is able to be with us in silence, where there is no need to carry on a conversation. I had an experience like that over the holidays, riding to New York in the car with a confrere, enjoying extended moments of silence when we simply rested in one another’s company. There wasn’t even a need to fill the space with music. It was not an experience of being alone or lonely, and certainly not an experience of being bored; no, it was an experience of being fulfilled and at peace.

Such moments can happen during times of prayer as well. There are times in our lives when we sense a greater call to solitude, to quiet, to contemplative prayer, times when we begin to discover that the greatest joys in our lives are those times when we are alone with the Lord, simply resting in His presence. These moments are gifts.

How can we prepare to receive these gifts? The first and most important thing is to be in a place where there is silence and privacy. Then we make a gentle (always gentle) effort to calm down our bodies by breathing slowly and deeply and by focusing our attention on our breath, not evaluating or changing it but simply allowing it to be. If our mind wanders, as it is sure to do, once we are aware of it we simply return to the breath. Perhaps we repeat a word or a brief bit of prayer, in union with our breathing. By doing this we quiet the mind, and begin to realize that we do not have to be dragged here and there by any thoughts or emotions which arise. We simply let them pass through us, realizing that we are not our thoughts or emotions, but rather we are the thinker of the thoughts, the feeler of the emotions. Simply let them pass and return to the breath and to the repetition of a word or phrase.

If you find this interesting and you have never tried it before, give it a go. If you would like more information about it, just do an Internet search of the term “centering prayer.” There is a wealth of material available for you to peruse.

As for myself, I find that after a good 20 minutes or so of this type of prayer, the words cease and I am able to sit and enjoy being in God’s presence. It is an exquisitely satisfying experience, and has a great impact on the time I spend after my prayer time has ceased. I hope you can find the same.